looking around coyly ***a poem*** +

I shouldn’t tell you,
I shouldn’t say
Here see me as I stand before you
Stand before you in all truth
Truthfully I see great concupiscence in your skin.

It is our nature is it not?

It is our nature to sin
It is our nature to repent
It is our nature to be lonely
It is our nature to seek out company
It is our nature to want the most natural pleasures from life….
But, it’s not my place to open my mouth
It’s not my place to speak every desire
Some things are preordained to not be.

It is just the way things are you know?

I shouldn’t tell you,
I shouldn’t say
Here see me as I reach out to you
Reaching out in soft passion
Passionately wanting to show you the world.

It is something I didn’t want to say, you understand don’t you?

I didn’t want to scare you off
I didn’t want to cut into my own life
I didn’t want to make it discomfited
I didn’t want have to nurse it either
I didn’t want to not say anything, but I wanted to say it slowly…
But, I worry now I should have said something sooner
I didn’t want to do this wrong
Some things though don’t turn out how you see them going.

It is just that I never saw her coming…

I shouldn’t tell you,
I shouldn’t say
Here see me, I am beautiful
Beauty that goes beyond my skin
The kind of beauty I admire personally, though my skins not to bad either.
Here see me, I am waiting
Waiting for something good is worth it.
And though I am now, I will not be always, there’s a lot of good things in the world.
Here see me, I am full of life
Living every minuet looking for another smile
Life is to short to be sad… we should seek pleasure while we can.

I am glad this is off my chest

bed and breakfast in his spoon. +

I loved once, the kind of love you never recover from…. I thought until this very moment as I traced the lines of my scars that I was over it…. That was a lie. Its hard to type this right now, sweet salt water blocking my vision. I’ll never be over his deep glassed over blue eyes, his thin rail of a body, the cold of his touch on my cheek. You know, my friends they said the day he died he must have stayed with me, because I turned cold. It’s a funny thing about my hands, there almost always cold, they never were before him, before he left me here. I hate him for that, really I do. I hate him for loving his dragon more than he did me and I hate that he left me with that taste on the tip of my toung, I’ll be running my whole life. In all his flaws, he was so wonderful when he would look into my eyes and tell me, I believed every word of it to… he would tell me I was so perfect the was I was… he said he would love me forever. We swore it to the wind and he whispered it to the flame, and we danced it under the moon. We laughed it into the puddles we walked in late at night down pike st…. It was everything; he was everything I ever wanted. He loved me, because I was me…. He never judged me, he never wanted me to change unless I wanted to, and when I did he loved me just the same, always. I wonder if anyone will ever love me like that again.