FUCK DRUGS

never last long enough

Unknown

It is a creeping heat,
Rolling up my thighs,
Touching me in undiscovered places...
Pulling me out from my mind,
Into and through my skin.
It's shattering,
And I want it again.
Soft rough kisses on my lips.
Firm kind hands pressing into me...
Pray set me free.
Free me from my sins,
From my fear,
From wanting,
From nothing,  and everything.
In you.
In the raging, rolling, flowing high.
In the moment.
This fucking moment,
The earth stopped spinning and I started.
You heald me down and I was transcendent.
I was god,
I was the devil,
I was space,
I was time,
I was all of creation.
I was nothing...
Nothing but pleasure.
Pure, unrefined pleasure.
Un responsible indulgence...
And I want it again.
I want you again.
Inside me,
Melting me.
Taking me,
Bending me...
Into form,
Into existance and out the other side.
It's this heat,
Radiating from my body,
Begging, pleading, take me out into the unknown.
Make new light and joy in my body,
Let my mind wonder out into the night...
And pray you stand beside me while you can.

Beauty lost in redlights

Come child,
Know your beauty in the light if the morning. 
Know you worth outside of the touch of a woman.
Come child, and find peace.
Peace of mind,
Peace of body,
Peace of existance.
And then,
Pray exist in happiness. 
Pray love in wholeness.
Pray, complete.
Vibrate and shake and twitch till you find solid ground. 
Then stand,  for everything it's worth...
Stand stronger than you ever knew you could.
To be loved,  to love,  forever.
Find you dreams beautiful.
Lose you madness red.
And exist, for beauty.

To dance

Coming up over me,
Forcing the movement of my mind.
Pressing and pushing me further than I can go...
I can go past what I see,
Past what I feel,
Past what I know...
to find you.
Soft and kind in my memory.
To love you,
Just right now.
An ocean of sound,
deep blue heart beats,
Throbing, pulsing, pulling me away in the tide.
Lost in the undertow.
Lost in the second I exist in.
Lost in his eyes striking through the sound barrier.
All of this,  just to dance. 

drugs

Part 1 - Fearing the Unknown
it creeps around my mind like a sickness...
infected and swollen in paranoia.
I see how you speak of them,
how you turn in detest.
I hear how you feel for them,
in the words you left unsaid.
And I?
Am I one of them?
to be used?
to be mistreated?
just a subject of hate for you?
a twisted type of abuse...
it rattles and shakes and tears at me.
say something!
say...
I am not just filling a void.
say...
That I have some form of value...
because...
because I am weak,
and in the lonely night the sickness has taken hold.

Part 2 - The Come Up
waves and flows and breaths of pleasure,
intense sensations rolls over me.
melting from the pressure...
sinking and curving into the soft sheets...
I can not look away from that expressionless face.
my eyes locked where his should be.
screaming look at me...
look at me now,
broken off from the reality around me,
words falling on deaf ears,
teeth sinking into the cloth...
unspoken,
I need you in this moment.
your hands,
to touch me...
to bring me back from the deep darkness I am falling into...
I am coming up on...
I am...
a subject laying at a kings mercy..
pray, be kind to me...
because I have no choice now but to go along with your command.
I am enthralled...
I am captured...
I am along for the ride...
I have given in...
I have accepted.
I came here knowing what could come...
This intense existence,
it is what I asked for.

Part 3 - The High
I had never believed in you...
I had never known you...
That you were so soft,
That you were so tender...
That you were so intimate..
That you were kind.
I had never seen past the brutal outside,
I had never looked into your eyes.
I had never accepted the safety of being alone with you.
I did not know.
How shocked was I,
When you laid beside me...
When you took my hand...
When you kissed me so softly...
how taken back I was...
by your firm and caring hold.
How, for a moment I felt so beautiful in your gaze...
How...
for just a moment I lost all sight of every thing that was not your touch...
How it made me salivate,
how I wanted more...
how I wanted everything.
Drawn in by the pleasure,
and kept by the calmness of your lead...
transcendence.

Part 4 - The Come Down
as morning rises,
and our bodies meet to separate...
as we part our ways,
I wonder will I ever see you again.
Will I ever feel you again.
will you come looking for me...
I will not try and chase you.
I will not try and keep you,
I will not try and claim you for my own.
You are,
if nothing else beautiful to me.
you were,
if nothing else blissful company.
I hold no expectations for tomorrow.
I hold no wanting to alter your life.
If I want anything...
it would be that you remember me fondly, and are kind to that memory.
I can enjoy this thing as it is.
And I,
I will always remember you fondly.
And I will always be kind to the memory of you.
Even when you have wronged me,
because this was beautiful...
even if it was an unsleelie impulse.

Part 5 - The memory...
It was good to be with you,
It was good you took my hand.
It was nice to be beside such a beautiful man.
It was pleasurable to feel your weight upon me,
It was pleasurable to pull you in.
It was nice that you made me cum so many times since we were just friends.
It will stay with me,
this memory that we made.
I will keep it safe,
even if it was only one sided anyways.
it matters little how you saw it,
because I experienced it this way...
I laid with a man who made me so wet,
that I nearly floated away.

To burn

What have I done?
Come here to touch what I can not taste.
To rive and bend in pleasure
To die in the over stimulation...
You are no muse to me. 
You are no love,
You are barely a lover.
What have I done breaking all my rules,
To feel you pull against me
To be lost...
To be gone...
To dissolve,
In you, in heat, in a breath.
Melt into my melting body,
Tonight.
One night,
Once?
That's all?
Nothing more...
I want.
I want the heat of you,
The presure of you,
The weight of you,
The freedom.
I want to see you cum,
I want to see you need release,
I want to give it to you.
I'm nothing to you...
Your nothing to me.
Let's find obliteration
In one moment to high for the earth..
To burn...

tell me

where in lays the point to this all?
the place that tastes of razors,
the light that shone to bright,
the hope that keeps on hoping for the ever night.
where in lays the dream that we had?
the one where we were true,
where in lays a future for me...
and for you?
is there any reason,
any sound or any hope.
when no one knows to look,
how will they know ive broke.
its in the soft deception,
the begging violent need
fill me with earthy pleasures to sate the coming greed.
I can not let go the running
I fall on the too short a step...
please keep the engine running
I dont know how fast we may need to go back...
back into a time where,
where I was not so cold.
Back before they hurt me and left me to be sold.
When still I saw the beauty in my skin and under my eyes
before there was only sin and a spirit to dispise.
before I lost all faith in my fellow man
before I was left alone with the thorn in my hand.
How will they even find it,
if last I said it was true
I don't want to keep trying
Im reaching the end,
all I have left is you.
If you were to leave me...
If you were to go
I would be alone with no one else left to know.
That here I am dreamless,
here I am scorned.
Here I am have lost all the merits I once wore.
Here I am with nothing left in me veins.
What will be the currency,
how will I pay the toll again?
The dragon whispers softly...
"come out into the night...
Stay for ever child,
close your eyes tight.
Stop the ever running,
lay down I hold your needs,
kiss my lips your stunning,
sink into the seed...
you will never live to be to old
and to be frail,
instead youll die young
and leave a fast burning trail.
You never wanted to stay in one place very long.
come and kiss me gentle
and we can begin to sing your song"
And tell me again. why I run so hard
over broken glass,
blooded, bruised, scared....
where in lays the point to this all?
Where in lays the reason to exist...
to fight, to try, to care...
to even write all this?
where in lays the reason to even voice my thoughts
they will just fall short,
they will just be forgot.
There is nothing left to me.
I dont want to try.
To spend another night alone in bed,
to lay there and cry.
Tell me what happened to the girl I once knew?
She was beautiful,
desired and true.
She had so many reasons to want for better things,
to be happy with what she had,
to rejoice and sing.
Why did I chose the hard life?
Why did I go alone,
Why didn't I bow to the desires of those that gave me home?
Why am I here now, not a word to be said...
Stalling and writing alone in my bed.
tell me..
where in lays the point to this all?

because I don't see one,

The snow may be about to fall. 

Release under pressure

It is the weight of you upon me,
The feel of your hands on me...
The arc of my back.
The gasp for breath between waves of sensation.
Come upon me.
Intertwine and weave me past my skin,
Take me away from earth...
Let me free fall in the force of you.
Let me give over control and trust...
Trust you to take me to climax.
Trust you to hold me,
For a moment.
For a time,
For a second let me exist outside my mind.
Give me this,
And I'll give over me.
Release under presure,
Freedom with in sensation.
Existence.
Its you I desired,
And it is you i desire still.

To touch

To touch
That which was not mine.
To taste that which was never known.
To Live that moment in sin...
That is why I come to go. 
That our legs may intertwine,
That our bodies may interlock,
That my hands may live to see,
Your skin against my own...
That is why I took you here,
To this night alone.
That is why I want you now,
In ways you will never know.
That fear had locked me up,
That cowardice lead the way,
That in a drink I found my courage...
That this night our lips met and stayed.
That I would love you whole,
That I would worship you,
That I would beg to give...
The little death and release of you.
To see your face in moments of,
To smell the heat that comes off you,
To listen to your heart race...
To touch,
To taste,
To know your body's ache...
That is why I wanted you then,
That is why I want you now...
That all this and more waits for you
come take me, 
I'm waiting now...
Take me like a waiting dove,
Take me like a wanting slave,
Share with me your secrets,
And I'll take them to my grave...
Let me become the one
who would give you anything,
Who would break and bend,
To grant you any dream. 
That I will arc in pleasure
As pleasure crosses you...
All this and more
Would I give to you...
If you knew to ask me,
If you knew to say,
"Give me my desire"
And in your desire I'd melt away.
All I ever wanted,
All I ever need
To touch your face and linger
On your pleasure,
This simple thing is my greed.