nothing left

how long can I run,
for running to roam.
how long can i remain,
quite in my head alone.
how long can I smile,
while cracking gives way. 
how long can I want,
when wanting to stay...

how far can I run,
to feel wind on my face.
how far can I remain,
still not quite fallen from grace.
how far can I smile,
with glass cuts on my face.
how far can I want,
to be free of this place.

how near can I run,
to be better with you.
how near can I remain,
fingers on paper like glue.
how near can i smile,
like other quick silver falls.
how near can I want
To lose faith in it all.

And in twilight and roses we dance and we play
In summers snowfall my tears melt away,
In song and in laughter I rest my tired head
and warm in the winter I crawl into your bed.

And In tea leaves and rubies I have paid for this day,
the day that I run,
the day I remain,
the day I can smile, not afarid of the shame.
The day that I wanted nothing more than to be true,
with tea leaves and rubies I paid for you. 

It is you

It is the warm embrace of you,
pulling close against my body
sinking into the second of breath that passes between.
It is the soft wanting,
the secret wispier said plainly,
You are beautiful...
I long to touch and rejoice in that beauty.
I want to trace the tight lines of your body,
I want to watch it bend and break and rebuild and reconstruct
in seconds of fleeting chemical reactions.
I want to find joy in you,
I want to inspire joy in you,
in your delicate hands
in your soft smile
in your eyes which set fire to my senses.

But still, you do not look to me.
you do not hear my words
saying,
see me...
Strong, and fragile,
Worn and new,
Overlooked, and unforgettable.
I scream in silent tension
Look to me, and in me find
A lover, and a friend.
A sister, and a confidant.
A master, and a servant.
Take your fill of the stars tonight,
that all ecstasy is yours.
That all ecstasy ever owed to you,
so would I deliver it,
if you could look to me.

It is your quiet perfection and perfect flaws,
your whole humanity and welcome grins
which draw me to dreams of your skin.
dreams so tangled in
if onlys,
if maybes,
if just once...
dreams so knotted, and bound that the only release
has been the further repression of them.
So great was the fear of your flesh under my fingers
So great was the worry,
would I dehumanize you?
Would I hurt you?
To leave unwanted bruises on someone so beautiful,
the thought of it brings tears.

And yet, here in the darkness of night,
here in the quiet clitterclack of keys,
I dream again.
I dream of fingers running rails down spines.
I dream of hands clasped upon wrists,
I dream of lips tracing the curve of your hips.
I dream of the ebb and flow of the ocean of you,
I dream of you begging me to come for a swim.

It is the warm embrace of you,
that rattles me.
It is the reality and truth of you that leans me fearful to speak.
It is the demand of want in me
that breaks this fear.
It is the urge and passion I hide under my awkward appearance
that writes now...
Come with me, and let me hold you.
Come to me, and let me protect you.
Come with me, and through you I will have joy,
and In me you will have safety.

It is you, that I am craving. all of you, in perfect cracks, in flawless flaws, in total acceptance and love... it is you.