I stood behind my boss today watching him play everquest 2. there he stood where in digital forms had stood before, there I remembered the feeling of late night calls and deep rooted desires based in a fantasy world. Zone, I promised you I would take you away from your nightmares and save you, I promised I would protect you from the world, I told you I loved you… I said all the wrong things with the right intend and you fell for the love I so longed to feel in you. You are the only one who has ever been special… I wonder do you know that? No, I never could be upfront with you… then again nether could you to me… I think perhaps we were, are and will always be too alike. How many times have I loved? To many and yet not near enough to learn my lesson… I still wish some nights I was in your bed but, I needed someone to take me away from my pain… how would we have survived each other? I would have had to burn so fearsly in you that I would have smothered my self…
I was just thinking today… about him, I was thinking of how sweet it would be to wrap my legs around him… pull him so close against me… fall so deeply into the desires I invest still in his flesh… pull in so deeply that the passion I hold for his touch still… would smudge onto his inside, onto his soul he hides it like I do… I was just thinking…
Why, couldn’t I just be simple with him… I crushed so many of them like they were nothing used up to empty then moved on to the next simply to sustain my self.. he’s the only one I let crush me, he’s the only one I have ever cried for… he’s the only one I still want, maybe because he left me. The one that got away right? I don’t know where I am going with this… I think I’ll go get drunk and maybe write more latter.
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