the cage parts III & IV

Part III fall to the forgetting
 
I can not remember its taste now
the sweet once upon a time.
I can not breath in its smell, or recall its shape in my hands.
Its tho it never was, and so it will never be.
my lips are parched from it the shaking memory of thought. 
mouth dry and aching I need it like I have never needed anything...
some thing I can't recall.  
Some part of me thats gone for ever..  
some lost toy in the sand box...
 
And it rushes into me...  
I have so near forgotten the smell of the pooling vomit.
 
I am locked in this memory forever,
I live here  
I die here  
with you.  
Like it should have been,
I feel ill that I had placed it from my mind until now.



Part IV  forgive me....
 
I go there
the place of punctured skin and shattered love.  
I look to my hands and I know you, as Ive always known.  
screaming out as i stay still, locked in my cage.  
what I would have given to hold you...   
dieing alone in my lap...
I should have been there with you. I was there the whole time.  
glass doll eyes watering and falling off the earth
And that night you came to me as I dreamed,  
crying wrenching form lost body...
my silent plea, lipless scream, why couldn't you love me more than it...  
the last dinner served in a spoon
I was yours. I loved you. I love you... please, I'll never hear you forgive me  
lifeless eyes lost in the stars, and star scared to always remember
I'll never forgive. don't follow me.
I should have gone with you....  
you kept me here as long as I could stand
you left me alone, a scared child.  
you were stronger than me
 I have never been able to stand with out you.
 you don't need the earth, you can fly.
 It should have been me.  
you have to learn to forgive.