if only in his eyes

if he could see me,
as i am
as i have always been
with his eyes and his hands
if he could hold me
prehaps some drop of the glory of his form would lean into me.
prehaps some small flicker of his light could live under my skin.
prehaps i would be nearly as beautiful as him.
if, he could see me.

it was like
he was the most beautiful thing i had ever seen
when in those perfect times i was around him.
it was like
he is the most vivid man of my dreams
when in those distant moments i was away from him.
it was like he was all i ever wanted him to be
because, he was so perfect.
he was so perfectly flawed.
he was so beautiful.
and it hurt,
it cut colder than any knife
and hoter than any blow
to think, he him self
was blind.


i see him,
as he is
as he has always been,
with my eyes and my hands
i hold him.
and with every waking moment i know the perfect glory of his form, and i beg for it.
and with every waking moment i know the blinding light of his soul and i cling to it.
and he, is in my heart the defenition of beauty.
i see him, in it this way forever.