nearness

it is the ups and downs
the high and the low
humming
vibration of these thoughts
that drive me to be what we never were.
and you said once,
with eyes that looked right through and past me
that I was the destructive cycle you feared.
and I, see in you the break of destruction that I fear.
it is the lowest moments with you
that I spend
doubting my self. 
and its the highest moments with you that i spend elated.
My face shattered from smiles.
and Its in trust that I can tell you my fear,
and slow I cast it out.
Its the nearness to you I crave.
To take in the sight and sound and smell of you.
To watch the quiet play of thoughts
ziping
streaming and scouring past your eyes
on your face and in your hands.
It is the nearness to your greatness that I want.
In any form
In every form
that I can get
I will take from you.
But, only in what you can give.
Only in where you say.
Only by your prescription of thought.
the ups and down
leveling out...
and I withdraw again from you.
For a moment alone.