dream to wake

when I dream
I dream of your hands
crawling up into my skin
I dream of a touch forbidden and accepted.
to feel the echo of you inside me
tearing me into pieces in the vibration.
I dream of the destruction of my self in you.
And I dream of the birth that comes then after.
That first gasping for air after the last breath of a former life
The rocking of my body
trembling in your hold.

When I dream
I dream of your eyes
melting into my flesh and finding me in judgment
the Magister of my body in that moment
to feel the acceptance of you
to feel the pull of you drawing me near and commanding me to my knees.
This is a first life,
A world born in this moment.
Passion burning so great and so deep that I may crack and leak tears for its beauty.
The beauty of this man before me,
leaving me breathless.

When I dream
I dream of your smell
A thing I never so close that I could know it before this moment.
I dream of it filling my lungs
heightening the chemical compulsion to have you inside me.
to pull you on to me
to gasp for air as you force your way in
to arc my back and kick up against you
for my eyes to roll and your firm hand to hold me in place
to take hold at my neck,
to turn me over and tangle your hands in my hair.
To make me collapse in the weight of pleasure. 
To make me cry in the dance of pain
To blend them in my skin as tho I have never felt anything else before that moment.


But when I wake,
I find nothing is as it would be when I slumber
Only the memories of sleep to run by
and the wetness between.